Yes, I'm Canadian » funny

Spam Subject Line #85

Kev — Fri, 22 Dec 2006 00:09:06 +0000

Actual spam subject line:

The problem is homemade robots usually malfunction, before turning on their creators and going on homicidal rampages.

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Blech

Kev — Thu, 30 Nov 2006 05:05:46 +0000

My sandwich had bugs in it today.

I ate most of it before I noticed.

Live bugs.

White ‘n Nerdy

Kev — Thu, 21 Sep 2006 00:09:08 +0000

It’s scary how much I relate to this. Wierd Al, how do you skirt the pit of lameness so closely but never fall in?(0)

Veritas Airlines

Kev — Wed, 20 Sep 2006 12:22:32 +0000

Off to Spain in just over a week. Wouldn’t mind flying on an airline like this.(0)

Presentation Disasters

Kev — Thu, 07 Sep 2006 07:13:20 +0000

I’m madly preparing presentations for two separate conferences at the end of the month (Web Directions and Fundamentos Web). These presentation disasters relieved the stress nicely.(0)

Coffee in Portland

Kev — Fri, 04 Aug 2006 00:48:36 +0000

The difference between Australia and the United States can be concisely stated by citing the espresso menu at The Coffee People, Portland Airport, Oregon:

Espresso Drinks:

Mindsweeper™

Black Tiger Mocha

Slammahamma™

Idea for an Extreme Sport

Kev — Sun, 23 Jul 2006 00:42:58 +0000

Inflight Jenga.
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Truth is Sometimes Even Stranger than Monty Python

Kev — Mon, 26 Jun 2006 06:13:03 +0000

After legally parking her car to go to the hairdressers, Shirley Hatcher returned to find a disabled parking bay had been painted around it and she had been given a ticket. Python’s rampaging “Keep Left” signs come to mind.(0)

iDon’tChatGay

Kev — Sun, 18 Jun 2006 03:48:25 +0000

I have received an alarming number of instant messages from bumpy, tanned men interested in “cam fun” over the past few days. What at first seemed like an increasingly improbable coincidence has at last been explained: someone has posted my AOL Instant Messenger screen name on a gay chat web site, iChatGay.com (NSFW).

Though I know and enjoy the company of several people of the homosexual persuasion, I’ve also had a long and illustrious history of naïveté in this department. I remember, back in my early university days in Newcastle, for awhile my friends and I would get together every Thursday night at a bar called The Barracks to see FABBA, an ABBA tribute band, do their thing.

I suppose I must have been peripherally aware of the number of same-sex couples dancing at The Barracks, but somehow I just assumed that that’s what people did when listening to ABBA, and bopped to the music with my doubtless wiser friends in blissful ignorance.

One night at The Barracks, I found myself dancing with a girl who must have been a friend of a friend. When the small-talk was done, she smiled coquettishly and asked, with a certain weight, “So, which way do you lead?”

Now, I am familiar with the concept of metaphor, and it wasn’t too long afterward that I realized just what she meant, but I must have been blinded by the Super Trouper Beams or something because the best response I could muster at the time was a dumbstruck pause and then:

“Um, actually I don’t dance much.”

Kev Eats Vegemite

Kev — Fri, 19 May 2006 08:06:45 +0000

Haven’t been listening to Lost Out Back? Check out our latest episode, in which I try Vegemite for the very first time. Can you guess if I liked it?

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